The short answer
Girl math says a $99 water heater flush that’s normally $199 just made you $100. Around Northern Virginia, the plumbing check that comes with it is normally $149, so by the rules you actually made $249. You also spent $99. Here are six rules of girl math, each one worked on a real home repair, with the real math beside it so you can laugh and still make a good decision.
Anybody in the house can do girl math, by the way. It’s the same reasoning that bought the second garage fridge.
Rule 1: If you saved it, you made it
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| The girl math | The real math |
|---|---|
| A $199 flush plus a $149 plumbing check, all for $99. You’re up $249. | You spent $99. It’s a good deal on a tank that’s been flushed before. A ten year old tank that never was may be better left alone, and we look before we open the drain. |
More of this in girl math for plumbing, where the sump pump alone is worth $300 in imaginary income.
The $67 Heating Check
We check your furnace, heat pump or boiler before winter. Through December 31. See the offer
Rule 2: If it’s already paid for, it’s free
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| The girl math | The real math |
|---|---|
| Pay $199 for the dryer vent cleaning. A year of Comfort+ comes with it, so the flush and the two HVAC visits are free now. | All four visits would run $695 booked one at a time. You paid $199 for the year. This one is close to true, as long as you book them. |
The whole breakdown is in girl math for the dryer vent.
Rule 3: Divide it until it sounds small
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| The girl math | The real math |
|---|---|
| $199 is a lot. Four visits at about $50 each is nothing. | That’s fair, and it’s the only rule here a CPA would sign. A visit you never book still costs what you paid, so put them on the calendar. |
Rule 4: Money you didn’t spend is money you have
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| The girl math | The real math |
|---|---|
| We looked in your ducts with a camera, free, and they’re clean. You just found $598. | You did keep it. If the photos show dust, the whole home cleaning is $598, regularly $798. If they don’t, skip it and we’ll say so. |
The same rule covers a big quote. A second opinion costs nothing, and you don’t owe us anything for looking. Girl math for duct cleaning has the rest.
Rule 5: The monthly number is the price
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| The girl math | The real math |
|---|---|
| A new furnace and AC is one small monthly number. You’ve spent more on things you don’t even remember. | The price is $8,898 and up. From about $148 a month at 0% APR for 60 months, the whole price financed, on approved credit. At 0% over 60 months, you pay the price and nothing more. Longer plans lower the payment and cost more in total. |
This rule is the one to watch, and girl math for a new system goes through it carefully.
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| The girl math | The real math |
|---|---|
| A box of warm MOLTN cookies arrived with the plumber. Tell me the visit wasn’t cheaper. | The visit cost exactly the same. The cookies are still free. Book the $99 drain clearing, the $67 heating check, the $199 dryer vent cleaning or the $99 water heater flush from goswiftpro.com/cookiesoffer and a box of free MOLTN cookies comes with it, book by November 30. |
The one rule that isn’t a joke
Ask to see the number before anyone starts. We look first, show you photos, and give you the price before we start. Then do whatever math you like. Our straight-faced version of all this is the post on HVAC and plumbing deals, and girl math for your furnace is the one to read before it gets cold.
Book it
Every price in the joke is real, and each one is on goswiftpro.com/offers. Or call (703) 997-9757. Rated 5.0 stars across 1,138 reviews on Google, Angi, Yelp, the BBB and Facebook, Virginia Class A license 2705192276. Every deal we run is on our offers page.
Questions people ask
What is girl math?
It’s a running internet joke about the creative logic people use to feel good about spending: if you saved it you made it, if it’s already paid for it’s free, and anything divided small enough barely counts.
Is girl math real for home repairs?
Some of it comes out true. A $199 dryer vent cleaning with a year of Comfort+ covers visits that would run $695 booked one at a time. The monthly payment rule is the one to be careful with, because the price is still the price.
Which home repair gives the most girl math savings?
On our current list, it’s the year of Comfort+ at $496 under what the visits would cost one at a time, then the $300 off a sump pump replacement and the $238 off a furnace deep clean.
Do these prices apply everywhere?
They’re for homes in our Northern Virginia service area. Each offer has its own terms on the offers page.
